Currently v. 01

Hi! I'm writing this on 9/25: a day after the board exam; three days since I've finally gotten home after three months; and five days ago when I decided to leave my job.

I'm in my favourite baggy pants, drinking a Vietnamese coffee with Ed Sheeran's songs in the background as I read a book I've been trying to finish since three months ago but never had the chance to. I'm not only at home but I also feel like home myself, spinning in my chair, looking at my drawings, playing my uke again, not minding my data usage, and most of all, sleeping sound.

Nope. Don't get me wrong. I love my job. My job has nothing to do with my feelings. In fact, I almost didn't want to leave. My job was the only thing that kept me from feeling sad. I'll only say this once because this post should be about the present and not about looking back, but if given the chance, I would still work for that account.

So what do I do now? What is there for me to do?

Here's a list of what I'm working on for this day:

- I just booked a plane ticket to see my all-time favourite band and tomorrow I shall be getting the concert ticket. I cannot let this pass anymore. Mayday Parade is the only band I can sing along to with every song. Every. Song.

- My mom also asked me to compare fares for our December Trip. I'm still working on it though, it's hard to get low rates on peak season but I am not losing hope. I have always wanted to be in the happiest place on Earth.

- I had dinner with my best friend last night and decided to handle the responsibility that is to work on their Thesis. But I'm not getting the copy yet.

- I'm working on a prose as caption for the video I edited and also trying to plan about the magazine I have always wanted to work with.

No pressure really.  It feels so good, so comforting. You know? It's like I get to create new plans, build new dreams, start over again. I'm so low-key right now and I'm happy about it. No five set of waking-up alarms, no sleeping schedule, no mandatory meals.

And well, since the purpose of this post is for what's currently happening (which is started by siddathornton), here is my summary:

reading: always and forever, Lara Jean, the conclusion to Jenny Han's TATBILB series. actually I've been on an affair which is reading multiple books at a time and never really finish any so I'm also reading Write Here, Write Now by AA Patawaran

listening: Ed Sheeran's Songs on shuffle.

thinking: where will I stay on my concert trip. I'm actually planning to just sleep at the airport but my mom convinced me to make the most out of the trip, so I'm also thinking about where to head on after the concert. I literally have no one to be with or meet there.

wishing: I can wake up early tomorrow so I can pay my ticket already.

hoping: I can make all my plans happen. one at a time.

wearing: my baggy pants, a sports bra and my white cropped top.

loving: this feeling right now. I haven't felt it for quite a time. It's good to be back.

wanting: a pamper day. I want to get my nails done and also I want to soak my self in a tub of bubbles.

needing: well, i have everything i need right now.

feeling: aside from feeling contented with my life right now, i also kind of miss my job, my friends back there, and also my friends whom i haven't seen for quite a long time, my family, and my dog.

___________________________

a side note:

why did i leave my job?

first of all, i imagined myself staying there for more than a year. but some things just happen.
i felt every pressure there is. not about work, but from the outside forces. my job was the only thing that was making me get out of the bed. but every time my shift is done, reality shrinks in and i break down again and again. it was hard. i'm a healthy person but everything makes me sick...even the least of things. no one has got to do with it, i know, everything that caused me to feel this way is just myself. it's all about me. and this is the best thing i can do about it.

xx, gayle