Life and Work

It has been a while since I last wrote an update about my life. I had no health issues yet, I had not started technical writing yet, I still had the energy to drive away from my anxiety and workloads. This was supposed to be posted before June but I was so busy thinking and sleeping all my thoughts through. I worry about my thesis proposal which is due probably this week and I only have started my Introduction's first paragraph. Good thing I was able to submit my Synthesis paper on Linguistics on time, but I still think about my grades. I am not able to view it online for I have not registered to our data center yet. There is so much to think about and I still have a tabula rasa. I couldn't think straight due to my constant headaches and sometimes I feel something inside me which is caused by my Gastritis. Jsyk, I was admitted for three days and was asked to have a bed rest for days so I literally wasn't able to cast my vote, and attend to my classes to the point that I almost got dropped.
But here I am, enrolled for my second summer.
It has also been a year for me working in and for the Government, but minus two months since I am currently on a study leave which will go on for a year and one month. I am already done with the first summer class, and will be back for the second summer by the 15th. Here I am, finally home.

I really miss teaching. My students would send me messages either asking something (academic related), or telling me they miss me. Lord knows how much strength it gives me. I genuinely love my work. I love how a day can give so much to learn for me and my students. I love seeing how students make extra effort on my subject, how they appreciate my effort as well in being patient with them. I guess it's just internal for every student to realize that there will always be a pain in the ass and sometimes it's them. I believe I have been, and I still am a pain in the ass though! Haha. I miss giving authentic tasks to students and see them enjoy what they are doing. I miss reading their write ups, listening to their thoughts, and giving them chance to showcase their talents. How I miss it when we still have ample time to talk about their philosophies in life.

I told myself that my first year in the service would be my year of mistake, by which I mean, there are a lot of things that I need to learn, so I am allowing myself to make mistakes. No pressure. By the next school year, I will be getting better, not perfect but more prepared, extra careful, and more vocal. I was so excited to finally do things, but here comes an opportunity to develop myself professionally. I have to grab it because I've always dreamt of it: A scholarship for my Master's degree.

While I was teaching months ago, my friends and I would always come up to the same idea that it's better to be a student. We only worry about our homeworks and reports. A teacher could not afford to procrastinate. You have to prepare your lessons weekly (lesson plan and lesson proper), school forms are waiting, students are struggling and need to be attended, you have to coach contestants, activities are lining up. I am not complaining, I am enumerating. I don't regret anything being a public school teacher. There are so many things I don't understand about my job that is why I always ask. I am blessed enough to be in this position to complain. My goal is to provide quality education to Filipino learners, not to devour myself with expensive shits. 'Cause if so, I wouldn't have applied for this job...


but, as to where I am now, it is definitely not an easy life being a student. I guess life is really a constant state of nostalgia: thinking that the past seems better than the present, so I will try to live with that. My today is going to be better if I look back to it in the future :)

I really think I need to work on my three chapters now. I hope I find a good motivation.

xx, gayle